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Relationship Counseling: A Quick Guide If you’re going through serious problems in your marriage or your relationship with your partner, seeking professional counseling can make all the difference. Allowing a qualified third party to offer you a healthy perspective into your problems can increase your chances of overcoming them. Before you search for a counselor, however, you should correct any misconceptions about counseling that may be hindering you from getting it. First of all, it’s not true that counselors go around dictating what couples must do. They’re not there to hear your grievances or tell you how to repair your relationship. Yes, they will listen, but their job is to help you determine the real issues and create your own solution. Another misconception you might have about counseling is that it can only be a last resort. Believing this is gravely wrong because when couples keep stalling counseling and only come for it as a last ditch effort, the damage is usually already irreversible. As you consider entering into counseling, you can get started with a few tips that you can apply right now as you work on saving your marriage or relationship: For example, If you think like many other couples do, you may believe that shutting mouth and avoiding arguments is doing your relationship a favor. This is not at all true. If anything, not talking only means giving your frustrations a chance to bottle up until you can no longer take it and everything explodes. What you should do instead is to agree with your partner on some fighting rules while freely venting out your sentiments.
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A good example is strictly no name-calling or cursing. The worst damage to a relationship usually starts when couples personally attack each other, even with words, instead of finding a solution to the problem. Another good ground rule is no yelling. It can be very difficult to resist the urge to yell, especially when you’re trying to defend yourself. Remind yourself that this can be very demeaning to your partner. Walk away if things seem to be beyond control and come back when you’ve both relaxed.
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Another effective way to argue without harm is to write down your sentiments. There’s no need to polish your piece as if it would be published. Best thing about this is that you can express yourself with zero interruption. No one’s going to get cut off. Definitely, the first rule holds – no personal attacks, no name-calling. Marriage or relationship counseling can impact your life as a couple in many significant ways. Sometimes, there can even be immediate effects after you start working with a qualified therapist. Of course, you have to know that a counselor is not there to cast magic. You and your partner must have a genuine desire to make your relationship work before it actually will.